Rainmaker

Campus Life; Good Boy Gone Bad: #2-02……..Balancing Act!

2009-11-17T14:24:00.000-08:00

It had been a week since Stella had reported to college. So far, there had been no drama and she did not know about Chema’s presence in campus.

Being the eldest in a family and without a father’s nod can be quite disturbing and that was Stella’s predicament. To be able to counter this, Stella would always head home during the weekends, and try to reconnect with her father.

“Rain, my dad is always busy! He does not get time for us,” she said to me, parking her bag.

“Stella, don’t worry I know he will make up time for his family,” I replied rubbing her back.

“No Rain, he is always on the move, business trips and when at home, he is fixated on the business channel!”

“How about your mother?”

“What about her? She is always indifferent and can easily be duped. You see my younger sister has started moving around with weird friends and mum says nothing about it.”

“Everything will be okay,” I said then faced her directly; her face lit up dimly with glint of home. With that we worked to the bus stage, where she took a matatu home.

“Have a nice weekend, and take care,” she said as the tout called for two more passengers.

“I will, you enjoy your time,” I said waving to her.

Walking back to campus, I dialed Chema’s number and she did not pick it. Later on, when I was in my room she called back.

“Hey you, why didn’t you pick up my call?”

“Rain, I was in the shower,” she replied.

“Why didn’t you call me we take it together?” I said jokingly.

“Whaaat?” she interjected, then continued: “You are so naughty. So where are you taking me this beautiful Saturday?”

“I have good plans for you, just come to my room when you are done,” I replied.

I had no plans at hand, but then there was no harm in being a little creative. In the sunny Saturday, her khaki shorts, were just perfect for the weather. It was sports day, so I thought a hockey match would surely thrill Chema. However, as we transversed the field, she was instantly attracted to the game of rugby and insisted that we watched it.

The rugby match was already in progress and it had a capacity crowd with a sizeable number of ladies in attendance. I had watched very few rugby matches and typically did not know the rules of the game.

“Is that allowed?” Chema grabbed my hand tightly as we witnessed a player being shoved forcefully by another. The referee blew his whistle, which irked one of the fans.

“Idiot referee, what foul was that?” he barked out, a Guinness bottle in his hand. “What was the foul?” he directed his question to me.

“I think it’s a knock off,” I replied having heard someone whisper something to that effect.

“What? Knock on you mean?” he snickered out. “Rugby is a contact sport please!”

“Charlie show them the stuff we’re made off!” the heckler shouted to one of the players. It took some minutes before I could realize it was the same Charlie; my classmate. I had never known that he played rugby.

The game continued with its thrill with half the fans drunk cursing at the opponent’s moves as well as the hapless referee. Very often shouts of “stool” and “scrum” would be chanted out. But even more was stirring was Chema’s constant grips and grasps. Every time a player would maul over another she would pinch my skin, and in the rough and rugged game of rugby, she shouted, laughed loudly, yapped and pinched me more throughout the entire second half of the game. Why did she do that? It felt good, even though I was trying to get the rules of the game and how scores were being counted.

Later on, I walked to congratulate Charlie even though I was not sure if his team had won or lost. I tagged Chema along, who was clearly elated by the whole event.

“Congratulations Charlie” I said.

“Man Rain, you made it to this game! Thanks, that was a tight game, we just tried to follow coach’s advice,” Charlie said then wiggled his biceps, Chema pinched me again.

“It seemed to have paid off!” I was cautious with my words, still unsure if they had won.

“You know what, we have a little celebration after this, you can join us,” Charlie said.

“Actually, thanks but no thanks. We have a little plan,” I replied.

“Come on, you can tag along the lovely lady,” Charlie said smiling to Chema.

“That would be okay Rain,” Chema said.

I was not sure joining the biceps wielding men of rugby was a very brilliant idea.

Campus Life; Good Boy Gone Bad: Season’s Premiere……..Welcome back!

2009-11-17T14:22:00.000-08:00

“I am so happy that you came,” Chema said as we studied the long queue ahead of us.

“It’s the least I could do.” I said this then studied her face; lovely as usual. The queue was very long, and the university was still stuck in paper work and red tape, but it still boasted of excellence and utilization of information technology. With my impatience, I could not wait and had to go straight ahead of the queue.

I found Angie, the student leader, doing the registration.

“Hi Angie, long time no see! How have you been?”

“Rain! How have you been?”

“Very good, can you do me a favour?” I said pointing in Chema’s direction.

“Uh, she is pretty!” Angie said then smiled. In a few minutes were we done with the registration.

As we walked our way to the halls of residence, we saw various colourful tents with hundreds of dysfunctional organizations, each calling upon us. Chema was attracted to one, and she convinced me to follow her.

“Hi, the two of you!” a bespectacled lady started then handed us a brochures about their organization. “We are like the FIDA of this University,” she paused for a while then pointed to various posters on their tent.

“You are the ones who take care of women rights here?”Chema inquired further.

“Exactly, we ensure that ladies are comfortable and that they pursue their careers to the maximum,” she replied enthusiastically.

“How do you do that?” I asked.

She looked at me, adjusted her skirt then almost with a sneer replied, “Look at this pictures,” she pointed to photos of two young men. “This Peeping Tom, kept disturbing ladies at hall 4 for a long time by watching them regularly when they were taking a shower, when we swung into action, he was expelled from University’s halls of residence.”

“This other man,” she said pointing to the picture of a hapless dude. “He was brought in a girl from Koinange and they ‘did a combination’ with his roommates. We later discovered that the girl was actually one of our students and when we stepped into the case, the guy was suspended for a 1000 academic days.”

Their mandate seemed to spread wide and they would make wonderful lawyers and spinsters for that matter, but I just kept the comment to myself. Chema was so interested and signed in to the group. She also registered with two other groups, the SDA and another one which were giving out wristbands but whose name I can’t recall.

As we walked to her hostel, hall 15, Chema was still elated despite the strenuous registration process. We went straight to room 112 and we found that her roommate had not yet reported.

“I think, I should leave now,” I said.

“Well, we can hook up later, I also need to tidy up this place,” she said. We hugged briefly and I left.

At the gate the watchman, was enjoying groundnuts and listening to his transistor radio. It was important to create a good rapport now, knowing very well that I would be making several visits to hall 15, most of which would be at restricted hours.

When I took a corner to the left, hall 20 was now in clear view, that would be Stella’s hall and it was just one week before she would come to that hall.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #1: Let the game begin!

2009-11-05T15:36:00.001-08:00

I was the fifth person in the line and it had taken a whole hour to serve the four students ahead of me. There was a long queue behind me but most faces were still exuberant of fact that they were finally in a University. I knew my way around the vast varsity, (having made several visits before) so when I was done with my registration I walked down to my room. I was the first in, so I selected the best bed and wardrobe. When I was done, I called my buddy Chris; because it was time for some community work and service to humanity.

“Hey Chris, so where do we start?”

“I think some five hundred metres from the women’s halls,” Chris’ voice came through from the earpiece.

As we strolled our way towards the women halls we were incessantly disrupted by chairperson of some nondescript organizations. In their River Road Suits, they promised us that once we joined their organizations, our lives in campus would be a state of nirvana. But we had done our homework so we dismissed them without a second thought.

“Chris, we can help this girl,” I said pointing out to a lass heavily-laden with her suitcase.

“No, for the game’s sake, she’s way below our league, but for charity’s sake; knock yourself out,” I decided to do it for charity’s sake.

“Excuse me, I see you can do with some help,” I said pointing to her luggage.

“No! I ndont want mboys!” She spat out, and then changed her course of direction. Evidently her mother’s warning was still fresh in her head. Chris immediately burst out into uncontrollable bouts of laughter, then all of a suddenly went mute. His attention was distracted by a 5’6” girl in a tight fitting jeans and a white top; the clothing sensually curved out her lithe-model figure.

“Now that is game bro! Let’s see how you rate on this one,” Chris was not even looking at me. I mustered enough courage and approached her.

“Hi, miss, are you lost or…something?” It was the only thing I could think of despite the fact that she appeared so confident and had a light suitcase.

“Thanks, I do need some help, first you could tell me where Hall 6 is,” She smiled, a smile if we had ten of those, we wouldn’t need the sun anymore.

“I am Rain and my friend here is Chris,” Chris extended his hand smiling, “What is your name?” “I am Stella. Imagine my Dad left me hoping I could just figure out where Hall 6 is!”

“That is such a sweet name,” Chris said as he took away her luggage. As we headed for Hall six, I figured out that this girl could just be the one to kick start my dating life. And she had some daddy issues! There was a gap to be filled, and the Rainmaker wasn’t going to abscond from his duty.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #2: A little dance hurt somebody

2009-11-05T15:35:00.001-08:00

When I walked to my room, my ever-present roommate, Sila busied himself with what looked like calculus.

“Hey, are you revising high school stuff?” I asked as I turned the pages on his book.

“No, this is the assignment we’re supposed to hand in next week,” he replied then continued punching his calculator.

“Are you kidding? Is the timetable out?”

“Of course and we’ve had five classes this week!”

“I will catch up, the semester is still madam. Anyway are you going for Fresha’s Bash?”

“No, I got to finish this then head for CU.”

Stella, the girl I met on my first day in campus had agreed to be my date, and that Chris, my pal, too was to accompany me. Stella was exquisite to say the least. As soon as we hit the student centre, the place was almost filled up to capacity. The DJ on the wheels of steel was already spinning the best latest local music. Freshmen in the latest jeans in vogue as well as snow white Nikes gyrated their hips and every movable body parts in tandem with the beat.

Chris was not a dance guy, so he went straight to the counter. Stella was so eager to show me what she got. And her moves left me numb for a while as she whirled like cyclone on the dance floor. I was forced to muster all the dance moves I knew and for a moment, I matched her movements. However, because of my lack of practice, I was soon weary. We joined Chris at the counter, where he had an array of alcoholic drinks, but we stood our ground and ordered for soft drinks.

A moment later a dude in sagging jeans walked up to us and asked Stella for a dance. Stella looked up to me.

“Sure no problem,” And as soon as I said that, the Dude took her hand and walked her to the dance floor.

“I don’t like that guy,” Chris said as soon as they were on the dance floor.

“Don’t worry it’s just a dance.”

While watching the two on the dance floor they were like a perfect pair. They moved like a pair of Conjoined twins to the dance moves and when it came to Salsa they tangoed like they were the only ones in the world. Chris was just staring at me a little tipsy with that look that just said: “Told you, I hate that guy.”

When it was time to leave, the Dude approached me. Stella had gone to the washrooms “I know that this is your girl, but we've kind of connected and am sorry, I am going with her tonight.” “Are you crazy…?” Before I could complete the sentence, Chris had already roughed him up and thrust him on the wall. We administered a few slaps and when the security moved in our direction, we quickly disappeared. Stella was on the doorway and I held her as we swiftly made our way out of the discotheque.

Just at the entrance of Hall Six as I bid Stella goodnight, she gave me that look that so many men confuse with the signal. The signal that says: Hey so you think you’re a tiger? Why don’t you devour me? Actually the look that is accompanied by a long pause just meant: Rain I trust you.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #3: The sister actlage!

2009-11-05T15:34:00.001-08:00

When she trusts you she will introduce you to the family. So one chilly weekend Stella invited me to their home for her sister’s birthday party. So first thing in the morning I was downtown looking for a gift for the faceless sister. This time, my accomplice, Chris was no where in sight.

Locating the gate number in the up-market suburb proved to be quite tricky. The gate was ajar and as I treaded on the well-manicured lawn I felt a little bit nervous. I knew her father to be hasty and dismissive so I knew expecting a rude welcome was quite in order. Stella appeared from the mansion and briskly headed to where I stood.

She was all over me with hugs and at that moment I felt manhood spring back to my already frail body. She led me to her mother who stood arms akimbo at the door. The middle-aged lady greeted me with indifference. A rotund fellow, whom I immediately recognized as Stella’s father was seated comfortably in a comfy sofa seat, while at the same time deeply engrossed on the day’s newspaper.

“Dad, this is my friend, Rain,” Stella said and simultaneously a cold sweat trickled down my armpits. The old man removed his glasses then grinned at me.

“Pleasure to meet you Rain,” he said while extending his sinewy hands.

“The pleasure is mine sir,” that was all I managed to say.

Inside the party room were 20 odd teenagers engrossed in selecting music from the stereo. Clad in the latest hippy clothes and talking to the latest slang, I felt a little odd.

“Hi people this is Rain,” Stella announced to the crowd.

“Wassup Rain,” they chorused before embarking on who was to be the DJ for the event.

“Rain, welcome to my party,” Stella’s sister offered as Stella temporarily disappeared to another room.

Stella’s sister though younger had a fully grown body, curvy thighs and the bosom on a great growth path. Anyway we involved ourselves in a little chitchat, she asking me how Campus life was and I telling her how much fun it was without parental restrictions and a little boost from the Loans Board.

Her birthday gift comprised of an MP3 player full of her favourite music and full page poster of Rihanna.

“I love this! How did you know?” she was ecstatic and I could see her entire dental formula. Of course I had done my homework, Stella used to mention all her favourites and they got stored into my subconscious. “Rain you’re so cool!” She extended a hug, which I weakly received it.

I don’t know why but everything that came out of my mouth, she was happy about it. Whenever she said something, which most of the time was stupid I could not agree more with it. Then she started this weird habit of holding my back, like I was some long lost cousin. When Stella came back we were in little bit of an awkward position.

“Hey, you guys seem to be making up!” It had to be Stella’s sassy voice .

“Siz, Rain is the coolest person in this party!”

“Yah, yah, you can go in now, let me and Rain have a little talk!”

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #4: The ominous CAT!

2009-11-05T15:32:00.000-08:00

In a healthy relationship there are ups on down. When I flirted with Stella’s sister, she got angry and dumped me for a week. After a few I am sorry, I did not mean any harm kind of talk, she took me back.

Whenever we were in high spirits it was total bliss. We were head over heels and it was like “mention the crime and I would be your accomplice!” So what would have been a nappy afternoon turned out to be my biggest daymare.

“Hi hon… are you free tomorrow afternoon?” Stella’s voice came through from the earpiece.

“I am always free for my number one girl…”

“Well, Rain I need a favour, you see we have this calculus CAT tomorrow and I am not prepared at all…can you..”

“You want me to do it for you?”

“Thanks babe…I knew I could always count on you….”

Just because I was an engineering student, Stella thought anything mathematical would be child’s play to me. When I asked Chris my pal about such an adventure, he thought for a while then uttered a single statement, “I wish you were doing it for money, love is so unquantifiable, one moment you will be so happy to have done it but the next time you will you will feel like the idiot of the century!” Of course I dismissed Chris’ thoughts; he had never fallen in love and was not qualified to talk about it.

Sila my roommate was apprehensive, “Did you read the Rules and Regulations? That will automatically lead to your expulsion!” Sila was one person who squeezed himself in between the rules, regulations, the law and whatever synonym you could think of.

When I entered the exam room, there were more than two hundred students and I knew that the lecturer could not obviously distinguish me from the rest. As I took the paper, there were three questions. I read through the first one, frowned, and then sought solace from the second question. It was just a wish as it was equally undoable so I sought comfort from the last question. Nothing ticked in my head. I flipped the paper to read the instructions again which still stood as: “ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS!”

If you want to dub effectively then: look right, left and then right again. Under extreme circumstances you might be forced to leap forward or slouch backwards. A bespectacled lady on my right was busy scribbling on the answer sheet while the dude to my right hesitantly penned down the differential equations.

“Hey, you sure of what you’re writing?” I whispered to the bespectacled lady to my right. She frowned at me, and then continued with her work. I took it as a yes so I edged closer to her, then right below her registration number and name, I scribbled everything that I could see. It was only the last question that I copied halfway as she hurriedly handed over her script.

“How did it go?” Stella called in later that day.

“It all went down well, you should expect a moderate pass.” What you don’t know won’t hurt you but it definitely would hurt someone else. My love did not need to know the devil in the details.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #5: I want some!

2009-11-05T15:31:00.000-08:00

Friday evening for a college kid is an exceptional day. So when Stella asked me to her room, I was sure this time round I was going to have a taste of the cherry. Even when I entered her room there could be no better green light as her roommate had gone to the Estate for the weekend.

I don’t know why it was inculcated in Stella’s mind that she had to get approval on her food. Of course good food is an important ingredient for a wife material but right then I was not looking for a wife. It is said that the way through a man’s heart is through the stomach but for me then it had to be a little lower than the stomach!

From the new cooking utensils and the way she handled the coil and the sockets it was clear she did less cooking.

“How do you find the appetizer?”She asked as I sipped the soup. For an African man all he needs is a square meal because the appetite is usually there. But when you are in love you become the most sensitive and uxorious man.

“Wow it is so sumptuous baby; you surely must have been sitting with your mother in the kitchen while the rest were watching TV!”

“Actually it’s my grandma that thought me all this cooking!” She went on at length narrating her baby in the world of catering. I listened with rapt attention because I knew that in future a question could come up in that direction.

The main course then followed and the dessert which I complimented her for the finger licking food and she appeared like the seasoned chef who does not mind a compliment here and there. A comical movie then followed and as at some point she turned off the lights for a better experience.

It was then that I felt my tiger claws straighten out. Like a cat crawling towards its prey, I pulled the pillow to her side, eased closer to her then extended my arm over her shoulder. While the stand up comedian continued with his witty remarks, my body rippled with a need for a bit more action.

“Hey, are you sure?” she said as I kissed her on the cheek. I had no time for words so I just nodded; she blinked twice then gave me the signal. As I sucked her lips, my hands started making directional movements.

“Stop!”

“What?”

“I am not ready for that!” “It will be okay, just let me in..”

“No Rain, I am just not comfortable with it” she stood up and turned on the lights.

“It’s okay.”

I bid her goodnight then staggered to my room. Even as I slouched to my bed I could not help wondering whether I was moving too fast. We had been together for slightly over a month. When was the right time to taste it? After a year? After wedding?

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #6: A unique Bribe!

2009-11-05T15:27:00.000-08:00

A unique Bribe!

The election fever could be felt campus wide and for Freshas the experience was electrifying. The goons had taken their place, escorting the wannabes while being paid by the hour. The contestants had jammed every space with their posters, promising us nirvana and criticizing the administration. Chants of Comrade Power filled the air all night long.

Angie was vying for the gender affairs position. In the posters many who had met her in person thought that her photo was a creation of clever tricks by a whiz kid on Photoshop. In the week that her posters were all over, the President and Wangari Maathai had become increasingly concerned about global warming; yes she was that hot!

I was alone in my room, when Angie walked in with a goon in tow. She wore a denim miniskirt and a fluffy black top.

“Hi, I am Angie, and this is Jack” As a soon as she said that the hoodlum, Jack, left probably to light a cigarette.

“It is nice to meet the hottest girl among the contestants, I am Rain” I enthused as I pointed to a seat next to my bed.

“Thank you. So Rain I came to request not only your vote but also your support among the first years…” my mind had been temporarily distracted by her thighs. She was sexy, her rear was well formed and it was a shame that she had to sit on my dusty chair.

“Yea, I know a couple of first years who can give you a vote,” I whispered back after my short reverie.

“Well, I hear you’re popular among the freshas how many votes can you deliver?”

“About 50,” I said pulling a figure in the air.

“Can you make it 200?” With that she stuck her tongue out and slowly rotated it on her upper and lower lip. Her torture did not stop there; she slowly rubbed her thighs while separating her legs and slowly pulled her skirt upwards. It was not rocket science to see that I was being bribed.

Of course a unique bribe that the Kenya Anticorruption Authority would not come running after me. It would also come in handy given that my girlfriend, Stella, had denied me the same the previous week. Angie was taking her time with her body language, her eyes had steadied and she inched closer to me.

“So Rain, do you think you can deliver those votes?” she had gained audacity and was now holding my cheek. It felt like seventh heaven and my body went numb. It was something that I had wanted all along. An option was to pull a Joseph of the Bible moment and flee from this crazy B****. Another option was to play along. As my mind raced with the options at its disposal, the door creaked and my roommate Sila walked in.

“Seems my offer has been interrupted, but think about it Rain,” Angie said and walked out. On the doorway, she thrust her poster to Sila’s hand then trotted out. At least now I had more time to think about Angie’s offer.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #7: Pants halfway down!s in the village!

2009-11-05T15:26:00.000-08:00

Everything had been perfectly set. Sila had been exiled for the night and every contingency well taken care of. Even as I changed the music on the borrowed stereo I felt apprehensive; unsure if I was ready. I pocketed for the umpteenth time to ensure that my rubbers were still intact.

While still in the last minute check ups, I heard a knock at the door.

“Can I come in?”

“Wow Angie, you look perfect! You can come in and never leave!”

“Thanks. You know I got a little time to waste, so let’s hurry up. “

I had worked day and night to get votes for Angie for the gender affairs position. Through hook and crook, I had a list of over 200 students singing along Angie’s tune and time was nigh for Angie to fulfill her part of bargain. On the eve of the voting day, she was in my room.

The good thing with an experienced chic is that, she will lead the way when you hesitate. In a short time, Angie was running her fingers on my hair, asking me what I expected of her. I reciprocated by holding her thighs and running my hands on them over and over again. It felt like an oven. She was always a step ahead of me, and she was now unzipping my trouser. Within a short while we were clutched like a pair of Siamese twins, it was then that I heard a knock on the door.

I dismissed it at first but then I heard a familiar voice calling out my name. I reached for my trouser then went for the doorknob.

“Chris, what is it?” My best friend Chris, stood at the door panting.

“Man, you got to get out of here. You got to hurry up!”

“Why?”

“Well, your girlfriend, Stella, is on her way here!” Chris whispered as he closed the door behind me to avoid Angie eavesdropping on our conversion.

“No, that is not possible; I left her going home to see her parents!”

“Dude if you don’t want to be screwed for life, you gotta get that girl out of here!”

My steamy session with Angie had to be cut short. With brief explanation she hurriedly left accompanied by Chris. As soon as they left, Stella was at my door.

“Hon, I thought you would be home right now. What happened?”

“I missed a Matatu. Aren’t you happy to see me?” Stella said as she walked into the room.

“I am pleased to see you. I just thought you would be home right now. Have a seat, let me get you something to drink.”

Even as we sat listening to the music, my conscience kept judging me. Why had I contemplated cheating on my girlfriend with a tired third year, who was out for her own gain? The questions kept my mind busy but I was glad that I had not been caught. I could not thank Chris enough. He was the kind of a friend that sticks closer than a brother.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #8: Betrayal

2009-11-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

Betrayal from your best friend hurts to the core. Even worse is when it is when about a girl. When Chris escorted Angie out of my room, he had gone ahead and slept with her. In his insatiable lascivious appetite, he forgot about the Bro’s code.

“Hey man, how could you?” I just could not believe Chris had done that to me.

“Men, that girl was on fire….She even wanted to come back to your room. You know that would be suicidal knowing that your girlfriend was there!” Chris explanation had no credibility in my own view. “Men, we’re supposed to be Bros..she was mine men. You can’t eat in the same plate that I have designated. ..You ruined it…I just don’t know what to think of you anymore!”

“Well, what can I say? Makosa imefanyika! Just let it go! With her phallic addiction, Angie is not a girl you can rely on. Right now she’s probably facing the ceiling in someone else’s room!”

“Stop playing that card man. Admit it! You screwed me up. You see I am tempted to think that it was a set up.”

He had to pay for it. A few days’ later I was at Chris’ room. I had an elaborate plan of equaling the score. I was in utter shock to my find my girlfriend, Stella there.

“Look who we have here, a whole crowd!” I shouted trying to hide my surprise.

“Rain, what were you doing with Angie?” Stella’s eyes were fixed on me.

“Well for a start, what are you doing here?”

If you have to win an argument with a woman, trying looping around. It goes a long way, men as Chris Rock would say, we’re handicapped in arguments because we try to make sense while women care the least if they make sense, all they want is to fix the blame on you.

“I came here to ask Chris about Angie?”

“Stella, Angie is a politician she had hired me to deliver a few votes. You know I can’t cheat on you with that cheap b****!”

“Oh yeah now she is that distasteful!” Stella was not about to let it go.

“You tell me, she is a politician and will go to extreme ends to get her votes. I just had a contract with her. Strictly business,” I was cool and composed.

“Chris is that true?” Stella shifted her focus to Chris. Chris gave me that one hard glare, whether to support me or not. It was like giving me an ultimatum.

“Well, Rain is saying the truth. There is nothing between him and Angie!” Chris said without battling an eyelid.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #9: Chill!

2009-11-05T15:22:00.000-08:00

There are two weeks that every college student dreads; the exam weeks. Even worse is when it is your first exam, especially for those of us who had the notion that university education was all fun and laxity when it came to education.

When I walked into the exam room, and flipped over the questions, one thing came stirring in my mind. “The pass mark is 40%,” The dean had said during the orientation. Majority of us burst out laughing. He adjusted his glasses closer to his eyes then went on to state as a matter of fact “You will realize that 40% is not that easy to attain!” he had not minced his words.

Chris on my right was busy turning the tiny sheaves of papers that were his mwakenya. Earlier on he had stated that there was no way he was going to that exam room ‘naked’. He had guts. Sila, my choppie rommie, was seated in front of me. The way he kept turning pages of his answer booklet, it sure was a set of ABC to him.

It is at such moments that I had wished I had not traded an insult with the lab technician who was now our invigilator. He had caught me in the labaratory, telling a girl classmate how a pendulum swinging can be compared to…...never mind. Well that had triggered a bitter confrontation and now in the exam room, his eyes were fixed on me. Looking above I also wished God would shine light on me. But it had been ages since I stepped in a church, after repeatedly nursing hangovers on Sunday. Confronted with such a trilemma, the position was to try and get the bare minimum.

With 3 questions each 20 marks, all I needed was to get 24 marks. Which meant a 12 in one question and 6 in each of the two other questions. The only problem was that getting a 12 in one question was possimpible (where the possible and impossible meet)! I tickled Sila’s back, I needed help. He responded by waving two fingers, the index and middle fingers, in the air, DP style. That meant chil, relax. I relaxed.

“Hey, Chris got something over there?” I whispered to Chris. He gawked at me, then to the invigilator, then slightly pushed his answer sheet next to me. For one I was sure he had dubbed correctly, the second I was not sure while the third, he had dubbed the wrong stuff. Time was running out. For the second time, I reached for Sila’s sweater and again he raised two fingers in the air.

Chill Rain!

But time was running out. Trying to slump backwards, the invigilator’s eyes were on me. I re-read the questions again. I remembered a thing or two from high school then scribbled it down. Ten minutes to time, I was sure I had not attained the pass mark. In a last minute ditch, I pinched Sila, and without turning he raised two fingers.

“Damn it, just one question!” I whispered rather angrily. He did not budge.

Ten minutes later, I handed in my answer sheet knowing that my fate lay squarely with the lecturer.

“Sila, why did you tell me to chill yet you were not intending in helping me out?”

“I did not tell you to chill,” Sila answered back and kept walking down the stairs.

“So what with the two finger salute? The F finger could have sufficed!” Frustration was taking over me. “I was reminding you of rule number 2 on the answer sheet!”

“S***! You are crazy!”

“It reminds you that cheating in exams will lead to automatic expulsion!”

“Go to hell!”

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #10: The greener grass in the village!

2009-11-05T15:18:00.000-08:00

“I will miss you, so much,” I whispered to Stella’s ear as I held her close.

“I will miss you too hon…But remember you promised to come visit me over the holiday,” Stella whispered back.

“Mzeiya gari inataka kuondoka,” the tout shouted.

“I will call daily and I will visit you!” I kissed her cheek then released her.

I wondered how I was going to endure two months in Stella’s absence. Just the other day, we had parted all night, threw caution to the wind and imagined that were the only ones in the world! As the Matatu navigated the corners, I wiped a tear that trickled down my cheek.

Even as I boarded a Matatu to the Great Rift, I felt nervous. It was time to face the man who pays for the damn thing; my dad. My dad was one person whom you could lie to on phone but not face to face. To make it worse he could just let you lie and lie until you entangle yourself in your own lies. The only solace was that there was no report card to take home! As I stepped on our gate, the dogs backed, clearly forgetting who I was!

“Come one Simba! Hey Rain! You are back!” Wesley, our shamba boy could not hide his joy. He shook my hand, almost breaking it.

“So how is the city?” that was a way of asking what I had brought him. I handed him a pair of jeans and his yellowed dental formula was all out.

“Thank you so much!”

“You are welcome.” I said as I handed him my luggage.

“You see Ann, that woman who lives next to the church? She gave birth to twins but the kids are dissimilar to her husband, I keep telling people that she separated her legs for that white missionary!”

At that point I knew he was beginning his cumulative updates and even though I was tired I heard to listen. “Dan died too last month, he was too old. Did you hear that Simon too died? No? Well people suspect that it was ulcers but I think it’s mdudu! Ever since he kept bringing different women to his house I knew he was courting trouble.” Wesley continued with his chatter at which point I lost him.

He was one person who duty was to bring me up to speed with every development. “Your dad did sell that goat…blah blah” until he mentioned a name. “You remember Emma?” Wesley said holding my shirt.

“Emma? Is she still in school?”

“No she completed form four and she has been asking for you. She wants to come to the city. And by the way she has grown very pretty!” Wesley winked at me knowing well that last statement would ignite my interest.

A few minutes latter I was seated on our patio, sipping a glass of milk, when Emma gently pushed our gate. Our veranda was in such a position that you can see someone from the gate walking to the house. She surely had grown beautiful. Her full figure was complemented by her attire and as she walked to the main house, her butt wiggled and swung in rhythm and in sync.

“Emma! Welcome long time no see! You look beautiful! Your mother must be treating you so well,” I enthused as I engulfed her in a bear hug I felt her immense energy. She had learnt to hug so tightly!

“Rain, it is good to see you after all this time! How is Nairobi?”

“Nothing much, just masomo! It never ends!”

Boy isn’t amazing how girls grow. It was just the other day, when Emma was just a confused pimpled faced teenager, roughing boys and throwing insult at any of them that looked her direction, but now my eyes were all over again. And now I was running up and down thinking what to offer her. Then I unloaded my package of the latest DVDs at least that would give me a reason to visit her. The unfortunate person was my cousin whom the DVDs were destined for in the first place!

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #11: Treading on a military ground!

2009-11-05T15:17:00.000-08:00

A sunny Saturday afternoon saw me hesitating behind the red painted gate. I knew her parents would not be at home but then just incase the meeting failed then probably they would be at my case. My weak reason of collecting my DVDs would be probably save my ass.

The gate was open so I pushed it and walked slowly, to the main house. I was a few metres from the main house when Emma came out from the kitchen, a coy smile planted on her lips. She glowed in her print dress.

“Hi,” she said as I engulfed myself in her hug.

“I am good, you look good.”

“Thanks. Well here I am. Mum just left and it’s only me and the house help. Dad as you know is quite rare to see him around. He just appears when least expected,” She paused for a while as the last statement sent a chill down my spine. “Welcome in,” she motioned me to the door that stood adjoined to my position.

“I loved those DVDs..especially how I met your mother. I love that Barney character..even though he is a womanizer and he is stinking rich!”

“Yap, that guy is irresistible! Anyway how have you been?”

“Just watching the comedies and helping in the house work. I also want to come to Nairobi and study Nursing,”

“Oh you want to be a nurse? Nurses make good mothers!”

“I wanna go for it! What drink can I get you?”

“Chang’aa, would do,” I quipped leisurely then studied her bewildered face. “Just kidding, give me a glass of water.”

“Have a look at this photo album, I will be back,” she said after handing me a glass of water. Emma’s family comprised of three boys and Emma. She was the first born and the rest of her siblings were in primary school. Most of her photos were those while in high school. There were few photos of her mother and sibling but the image of her father immediately sparkled my interest.

Her towering dad in an imposing military outfit sent an all too familiar unwritten warning to me. He was in the army and was reputed with knocking off jaws of people he differed with. In our cigarette and Chang’aa laden village, he never trusted any young man near his only daughter. They were all the same; trying to get into her pants then sprint away in case she fell pregnant, he reasoned.

Half an hour later Emma appeared in a butt moulding jeans and a white t-shirt imprinted with the country’s flag. The clothing sensually curved out her full figure to an exquisite being.

“Did you recognize everyone in the album?”

“No, but that is not of interest now, I wish I had a camera here, I would take you a picture that would put be unforgettable!” She moved her index finger on my forehead to indicate that I was naughty. But in that move I sensed courage.

At that point my phone rung. “Let me take this,” I said as I walked out noticing that it was my girlfriend Stella on the line. “Hey, how are you?”

“It’s Hon..baby, why did you sound plain?” Stella’s voice came through from the earpiece. “Well I am with my Dad…Will call you later.” She hung the line without further conversation.

“Don’t worry a classmate finding out how holiday is,” I informed Emma as I walked back in. “How is it?” she inquired staring at me and expecting an honest answer.

“I am in the best company my dear, what better way to enjoy the holiday?” She just smiled. It was some minutes to seven and the sun had already set. I knew her mother would come in anytime. Some day I would have the audacity of facing her face to face but not today. Emma saw me off to the gate.

Just outside the gate she could not go further. We stood face to face saying unending bye byes. The crescent moonlight provided partial light that made her eyes glow like a star. I held her in one long hug, and then moved my hands to hold her back. I did not want to leave her…as I held her hand for one other minute, our serene moment was disrupted by the sound of a fast approaching car; a land rover.

“I gotta go, now” I whispered out.

“You’re right, it’s him!” With that she quickly headed for the gate as sought a different route home.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #12: Court Martial!

2009-11-05T15:15:00.000-08:00

The sound of a roaring landrover, woke me up. It was 8 o’clock and the military man was already in the compound. I peered through the window and after parking his earth mover, he went straight to my dad who was outside taking his breakfast.

“Rain, you are in trouble! Dad wants to see you!” Wesley shouted knocking at my door.

“Go away, tell him I will come,” I said as I lazily put on my boxers and my trousers. I headed first to the kitchen to take breakfast. I was buying time so that my dad could calm down the irate Army Man.

“Rainmaker! Come over here!” My dad shouted his lungs out. He was angry, I could tell from his tone. I strolled slowly towards the two. Emma’s dad was in tight t-shirt that exaggerated his biceps and well built torso. He wore military trousers and combat boots; uh scary! I stretched out my hand for a handshake but he shoved it away.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” my dad yelled out.

“What are you talking about?” I played innocence.

“First I asked you to be here, but you have been wasting my time!”

“Well…I…” I stammered with nothing to say in my defense.

Emma’s dad heavy breathing scared me, but I felt a little consolation in my dad’s presence. He had not uttered a word and I did not know what was going in his mind; he just kept breathing like an overburdened bull.

“What were you doing with Timon’s daughter?” my dad’s glare was on me.

“Yes, what do you want from my daughter?” Timon held me by my shoulder, and it hurt very much.

“Nothing, just catching up..” my voice was barely audible.

“Young man don’t play games with me!” Timon’s baritone voice kept increasing in steps such that the last one came out as a roar. He squeezed my shoulder more and I cringed in pain.

“Rain, what kind of an adult are YOU? I thought you were mature! Any man that who keeps following women is a person who has lost direction. If you are guided by an erection, then there is nothing you will achieve. You are doomed to failure my son and if you want to go in that direction, then you have my full curse. It is a shame, I thought University education would make you wiser. Immorality will surely lead to your downfall Youngman…”

Listening to my dad utter such words to me was more painful than a cane. I felt like walking away from them, but I could not.

“You are ultimately responsible for your life or destruction…” my dad said with a grim of finality.

“I should never see you near my Emma or my house!” Timon bellowed out just to rub it in.

I headed straight to my room pushing away Wesley who wanted a breakdown of all the unfolding. I bolted the door and as I recounted every word my dad had uttered, it was a bitter pill to swallow. At that point I reached out for my cell-phone knowing that only one person would calm me down.

“Hallo,” I whispered feebly.

“Hon, what’s up?” Stella’s soothing voice came through the phone.

“It’s my dad, we argued over…..over….” what was I supposed to say?

“Tell me baby, what did your dad say to you?”

“Well it is about his old rickety vehicle, I took it out without his permission and now he is blaming me for everything!” My imaginations had come in handy.

“Don’t worry swiry, we shall one day buy our own car, just try to understand him,” Stella was all the medication I needed. She was so sweet and I was already feeling better!

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #13: The Junction!

2009-11-05T15:14:00.000-08:00

Having smeared his name in front of the Army Man, my dad saw it fit to send me away where I would be occupied for a while. He called Uncle Sam who promised to secure an internship opportunity for me. So with a moderate pocket money, I took a Matatu to Nakuru.

Knowing the generosity of Uncle Sam, I knew it to be a safe bet to blow off half of my pocket money. And in burning up that allowance, one name came to mind. The phone was picked on the third ring.

“Swiry!” Stella shouted excitedly.

“Hi hon..I have missed you so much,”

“Me too hon..so where are you?” Stella responded with gusto.

“Well, I will be with you in 2-hours time,” Instead of alighting at Nakuru, I paid a few extra shillings to make it to Nairobi.

It was already five when I met Stella waiting for me at Kenya Cinema. We went to a restaurant upstairs for a cup of coffee, and later downstairs for a movie. Will Smith was co-starring alongside Eva Mendes in the romantic movie. He was at his best, and I envied him.

“Isn’t Will amazing?” Stella said as we strolled towards memorial park

“And the basic principles…there are none!” he is hilarious.

“My dad will kill me, it is too late,” Stella said after a while and then smiled coyly.

“The fun just started girl! I got plans for the whole night,” Stella pushed me with her index finger on my forehead and I just smiled.

Tacos had very few patrons, understandably so because it was a Tuesday and in the middle of the month. We continued to look for other venues but most clubs remained largely deserted. At that moment we took number 6 matatu to Ngara.

“What do you want?” a plump receptionist at Pumzika Lodging inquired.

“A room for the night,” I answered back. “Two rooms?” the lady asked while looking at the empty condom dispenser on the wall. I also reached for my pocket and rubbers were intact. “Nope, a single room…” I said then stared at Stella, but she was looking at the pictures on the wall.

“That would be a thousand bob,” the receptionist said as she reached for a file.

The absence of light was enough aphrodisiac for me. I reached for her cheeks and kissed them passionately. She could not resist and that is when I moved to her lips, I sucked her luscious lips again and again alternating between the lower and upper lip. As the passion intensified I stuck out my tongue to probe deeper into her mouth. She started moaning and that is when my hands started moving downstream. I had a problem unhooking her bra, but she gladly chipped in. I reached for her trousers and her knickers and gently but hurriedly removed them. I did it once, then again and again and again….in the end she feebly pushed me away. It is then that I bid her goodnight and slumped to sleep.

As I woke up, and pulled the window curtains the sun rays hit me. Stella partially opened her eyes and smiled. I hoped that smile would remain after she had faced her father but as for me I knew I had to head to Nakuru and face the benevolent but conditional Uncle Sam.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #14: The Real Hustler!

2009-11-05T15:13:00.000-08:00

Uncle Sam failed me on two fronts, first he failed to secure an attachment in a real engineering firm and second, when he talked of Next Generation International College, I knew that I was heading to a prestigious institution. However locating it in Town became a problem as no one knew about it. Eventually when I did find it, I was shocked.

It was a small office subdivided into three. There was a tiny front office, with a receptionist and two classes. One had three pretty old computers and another, a blackboard and a few chairs.

“Hi, I am Rain, I am looking for Mr Maina” I said to the unsmiling receptionist.

“Just wait for him, over there,” she said pointing to a metal chair then continued with her typing.

A few minutes later, Maina appeared accompanied by five students. He immediately directed the students to the classroom, and then beckoned me to the other “office”.

“How are you sir?”

“I am good, I am Maina the CEO of this college how can I help you?”

“Well I am Rain, I was sent by my Uncle Sam, he said…”

“Uh Lain, yes your uncle told me…”

“It is Rain sir,” I interrupted him.

“I just said that, well I was saying your uncle tells me that you are good with computers and you could be of use to this International College.”

When he mentioned International, I realized the irony of the statement; the college could barely sustain 3 computer students at a time and I had only come into contact with one employee, the receptionist.

“Lain so how much are you expecting at the end of the month?” he moved closer and patted my back. His breath reeked of cigarettes.

“Twenty thousand per month,” I said, not sure how he would react.

“That is quite high, you are on attachment; which basically means you will be learning while working. You see, we are not yet fully operational so let me start you at six thousand then I can monitor your progress.”

“Okay,” I knew I was not going to last there for long.

“Lain this is The Company Secletary, Jane, who is also my wife.”

“Pleasure to meet you Jane,” I said to the receptionist who grinned briefly exposing her pearl white teeth. Maina signaled me aside.

“Lain, you see light now we don’t have computer students yet and since it is the August holidays we are offering tuitions to secondary and primary students.”

“You mean those students there are secondary school students!” I could not hide my shock. “Actually one is in class eight, two in form three and two in form four. Don’t worry just give them basic stuff; Maths, English, Kiswahili, you know!”

“Where are the books? The resource materials?”

“Well as I said just give them basic stuff, I have to go Downtown to do some marketing.”

By marketing I knew he was going to place his posters on those NO POSTERS signs alongside those of strip clubs, Jam sessions reggae and the Dr. Abdallas who cure everything including runaway wives, jealousy “men problems” promotions at the workplace, ad infinitum ad nauseam. In process he risked being caught by the overzealous council askaris.

As I walked to the classroom with nothing in my hand except a piece of chalk, I did what an unprepared teacher would do. After the introductions I combined the secondary school students asked for an English textbook then flipped to questions that I knew had answers at the end. I wrote them on the blackboard and gave them an entire two hours to work on them. As for the standard eight pupil, I went and sat next to her knowing very well that writing 975653427 in words would not be a problem at all.

When later on I called Stella to explain to her my new “attachment” she was in uncontrollable laughter. But my pal Chris was not amused, he actually asked if there was need for another employee!

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #15: “Chema Chajiuza!"

2009-11-05T15:11:00.000-08:00

Maina’s concept of marketing was actually paying off. In a week’s time there were three computer students at Next Generation International College. In fact when he asked me how he could source for a new employee, I quickly called Chris to come to Nakuru. One of the new students, Chema, had an interesting problem with computers.

Chema was slightly short, but this was countered by her perfect figure; her classic face, her pure complexion and her flawless row of snow white teeth, all too endearing. She was stunning but computers did not see how that could be translated to 1s and 0s.

“Where is the start button?” Chema inquired when I instructed her to open a word document.

“It should be at the bottom of the screen,” I replied as I monitored the other students.

“I can’t see it,” Chema replied.

“Okay let me help you.” I moved closer to her, placed my hand on top of hers as I helped her navigate the mouse on the computer screen.

Even as I moved closer to her, I was sucked up to the ambience of her cologne. I rubbed myself softly to her ponytailed hair, it felt so good inhaling the fragrance of her hair gel. “I thought Start was some button that you use a hand and not a mouse!” she said as I clicked on the Start button. “Don’t worry; soon you will be proficient with this machine. It’s Start>All Programs>Microsoft office>Microsoft Office Word,” I was actually whispering to her ear, almost biting it. Now I new why they said teaching is a noble profession!

The century old computers were taking ages to load much to my advantage. I took my time, holding her hand and hovering the cursor on the monitor several times while clicking unnecessarily on the mouse. At times I patted her back and rubbed it slowly as I repeated the instructions again and again.

“You know I am quite a slow learner so you will have to take me slowly,” she said softly then smiled, while facing me.

I cleared my throat and to show that I was the lecturer in charge, I tried out a baritone voice, “You will soon realize how computers are so easy to operate,” the voice came out like a tweet. I guess her charm was unshakable!

“So, Mr. Rain you are a computer scientist?”

“No, actually I am an engineer,”

“So how is it being an engineer?”

“Well, I would like to say that we just doing God’s work, you see God said let there be light, but he actually meant during the day only, then an electrical engineer came in and said let there be light at night too and there was light!”

“Mr. Rain, that is so cool!” she was truly impressed.

The Word Program was now open and I gave her a newspaper clip where she could begin typing. I did not know that finding ‘W’ on a keyboard could be that hard! I moved over to the other students who were already far ahead with their typing. When I took a break and went to the reception, I was surprised to find Chris there.

“Hey, Rain, long time man!”

“Yea, it’s been, how have you been?” I shook his hand several times.

“I have been good… is she a student,” Chris said pointing to Chema.

“Oh yes she is….”

“Man, her butt is her best ASSet! Now you have Stella and I got to have her!.... God I love Nakuru!” Chris was already moving in Chema’s direction.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #16: Chris versus Rain

2009-11-05T15:09:00.000-08:00

Even though Chris was my best friend, there was one major difference between the two of us: Chris was the kind of the hunter who runs after the prey with all his strength and shoots from the hip while I was the kind who lays a trap for the prey.

“Hey girl, I am Chris and I come second to Bill Gates when it comes to computers,” Chris said. “Mhhh?” Chema replied.

“But do I say? You know the key to proficiency in a Word Program is this Ctrl key. It is the control key and you can do magic with it,” Chris blurted out. He moved closer to Chema and placed his hand on her shoulder, Chema brushed it aside politely. Chris still oozing energy continued, “If you want to open a document it’s Ctrl+O, to make it bold it’s Ctrl+B, to save the document it’s Ctrl+S and to exit the application it’s Ctrl+W. Very simple!” he exclaimed.

“Sorry, I did not get anything,” Chema said shaking her head. I almost burst out laughing.

“Chris, come over here.” Maina, shouted. Mr. Maina had assigned Chris to be the tutor for the secondary school students. On the other hand, I was responsible for the computer students and thereby interacting with Chema on a primary basis. Chris however could dump assignments to the secondary students and come to the aid of Chema in learning how to use a computer.

“Man, I am on fire for this chic,” Chris said on our lunch break. “I don’t know why she could not agree to my lunch offer.”

“Slow it down man, she ain’t feeling you at the moment,” I said.

“No, Rain you got to help me out,” Chris said then patted my back. “You are my bro, tell her how cool I am! Show her that I am the real package she is looking for.”

It was an untenable request. Chris knew that I had a girlfriend and naturally thought that I had no interest in Chema. However, my interest in Chema was growing at an alarming rate. When I walked to class that afternoon, Chema called me aside and requested for remedial classes on computer basics.

“Chema, I want you to visualize yourself like a boss,” I started.

“Like this boss who has a mean secretary just outside her office?” she inquired.

“Correct. The secretary is mean but effective. The computer is now your secretary. This thing called the desktop is like the top of your desk, the secretary allows you to place the most important stuff on your desk,” I continued. I shifted my position so that I was now facing her directly. I saw in her those trusting round white eyes; the sclera having taken over the surface of her eyes.

I knew that I wielded enormous power over her, I felt like The Man. “Email is an electronic mail which is comparable to sending your secretary with a mail to any office. This word program is like your notepad. The keyboard is your pen, you can type everything, put in bold for emphasis, align them in paragraphs for precision and so on,” I paused to gauge her attentiveness.

“That sounds so simple,” she said her dimples forming beautifully on her chubby face.

“uh well, computers are made to simplify life,”

“Mr. Rain, you are such a good teacher! I should buy you lunch,” she said.

“No, I should buy you lunch, because you are really learning so fast!”

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #17: Leverage!

2009-11-05T15:08:00.000-08:00

You have to give credit to Maina for one thing, when it comes to salary he pays on due date. On 28^th of the month, at 8 am in the morning, he called Chris and I aside then handed each of us six grands. Six brand new notes fresh from the mint factory; it felt good. The first thing that came to my mind was how to blow it up and in thinking so I remembered I owed Chema lunch.

“You know Chris,” I started. “I had promised to take Chema out for lunch. It think today is just a perfect day!”

“Man, stick to Stella. She has been your girlfriend all this time,” Chris replied

“Is it because you are so smitten with her? You keep checking her out, asking her out,” I quickly rejoined

“No Rain, I know in the end you will lose and I will have Chema.”

“I wouldn’t be too sure if I was you.”

“I think you will regret it,” Chris said.

“Please,” I said, then made my way out.

I thought I would surprise Chema with the lunch offer but it appeared that she had already planned it. Flaunt was the theme of her outfit and she looked beautiful. The overpopulated streets of Nakuru did little injustice to a highly reactive body of mine as she was forced to stick closer to me several times. After walking for close to five minutes, we entered a restaurant where I pulled a chair for Chema,

“Mr. Rain, you don’t have to do that,” Chema said

“No, you are the one to stop this Mr. Mr. Business, I am just two years your senior,” I responded.

“Oh yeah?”

“Please stop the sarcasm,”

“Can I ask you a personal question?” she began as I took the menu from the table.

“Sure,” I said absentmindedly still unsure which of the ‘days special’ to pick from.

“Rain, do you have a girlfriend?”

Technically I had no girlfriend and did not hesitate to tell her about it. In any case there was a considerable distance between Nakuru and Nairobi. Chema went ahead to tell me about her high school crush who sent deluge of letters to her school. Unfortunately after high school the young man had to go to Uganda, for his A-levels. Even as she narrated her tale, I gleaned that she had some tiny feelings still left for the boy at the corner of her heart.

The food came, quite delicious and at par with my expectation considering the fact that I was spending 20% of my salary on it. Chema scooped her food in tiny bits, chewing them meticulously as she continued with her story. I was sure the lad who be awed by the well-endowed matoke fed women of the Buganda kingdom to think about Chema.

Just as we were about to leave, I turned to check out the waiter, but then I saw Chris with my girlfriend Stella. I was in utter shock, beyond words. But there was no time to express my shock, I had to think quickly! I swiftly beckoned Chema and sought a way out.

“Excuse me, young man, where are you running to?” it was the waiter. “You have not paid the bill yet.” I instantly dipped into my pocket and dished out two thousand shillings.

“Keep change,” I did not wait to see his reaction for my generous tip.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #18: Cat Fight, Dog Fight!

2009-11-05T15:07:00.000-08:00

“No, not so fast Rain,” Stella shouted roughing up my shirt.

“Who is she?” Chema said.

“Rain, who is she?” Stella said authoritatively, pushing Chema with her hand. Chema being slightly shorter and therefore with a stronger centre of gravity, was able to withstand Stella’s force.

What does a girl feel when she has caught her philandering boyfriend pants down? She feels superior, she feels right in charge yet at the same time, she feels ripped off; she feels used and cheated.

“B****, who are you?” Stella directed her expletive to Chema.

“Who are you calling b****?’ Chema responded back. “Rain is she your girlfriend?” Chema turned her attention to me.

“Ladies, we can settle this outside amicably….” Stella’s slap caught me off guard, and it landed on my cheek nice and proper, so much so that I staggered almost falling down. And she did not stop there, she slapped Chema too but Chema had seen it coming. She blocked it and reached for her waist pushing her to the ground. Stella however would not go down alone so she held Chema firmly and pushed her to the ground too. They rolled on the floor several times, exchanging unprintable names.

I tried to separate the two but, I regretted it. Stella scratched my face several times; her finger nails had turned to cat like claws and as they dipped into my soft facial skin, I felt unimaginable pain. In a distance, the man responsible for all this was all smiles. It was time to leave the cats alone and head for a fellow dog.

“Chris, f*** you! What were you thinking?”

“I told you Rain, you will never win in this war.”

It was unwise for Chris to utter such words. In split second timing, I reached for a chair and hit him. In an attempt to dive, the chair caught up with his forehead. I was not about to let him go, so I aimed at his back and he howled like dog. That is when I directed a kick aiming at his stomach but this was a wrong timing. Chris caught my leg mid-air and pushed it backwards. I landed on a nearby table breaking the utensils. The rumblings alerted the waiters who came running.

“Useless, kwani mnafikiria hapa ni Kasarani gymnasium?” One bellowed out as he held my hand. “Wewe kuja hapa,” he directed it to Chris but Chris quickly disappeared.

“Boss, usijali,” I replied, wiping blood that was clotting on my lips. “It’s that boy who has brought out all this,”

“Hiyo mpaka mbele mwanaume,” the head waiter yelled out. Stella and Chema had also stopped their fight.

“It won’t happen again sir” I replied. I reached for my pocket and removed a thousand bob.

“Hiyo Kiswahili haitoshi mzeiya,” he replied now softening his stance.

“Tafadhali boss, it won’t happen again,” I pleaded. He let me go, with a warning that if ever he caught me again, I would have to be a guest of the State. I knew there was not going to be a next time. As I walked out, I left the two (Chema and Stella) to sort themselves out.

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #19: BAD, BAD, BAD!

2009-11-05T15:06:00.000-08:00

“Hey, Lain, where have you been?” Maina shouted when I tried to sneak into the classroom evading him.

“Sir…er...good afternoon,” I stammered, as I tried to hide my face full of scars.

“You are late, you know we keep time here, the students have been waiting for you,” he continued now heading in my direction:. “Why did you fight at that Hotel?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You and your many girlfriends fought at the restaurant…You think I don’t know? Look at your face,”

“Who told you that?”

“Does it matter? That kind of balbalic behavior is tarnishing the reputation of Next Generation International College,”

“Er...Sir…, it’s not like that,”

“Now get to Class, because we are here to make money!”

Maina then stomped out, his hand full of posters and I knew he was going to market his Professional Services. I headed to class and the two students there just stared at my scratched face. I started them off by giving them an assignment to enter on the Excel Workbook. I then scribbled absentmindedly on my notebook until I heard the door being knocked.

“Come in,” I said. The door was pushed open and Chema walked in.

“I came to pick my bag,” she said then reached for her bag.

“Chema wait,” she did not and she briskly walked out. I quickly followed her.

“I can explain,” I said as I patted her shoulders.

“Rain, what could you possibly have to say? That you now have a girlfriend, what explanation do you have for my torn clothes? For my face? For my shoe? For my dignity?” she turned directly facing me, her eyes moist and red. She reached for a handkerchief and blew her nose.

“Please, I am sorry,”

“Save your breath man, just save it, I don’t want to hear a thing,” she said then walked away.

I thought of following her, but then I knew I could possibly do more damage because I was not prepared. I just stood at the entrance to the college, still unsure what to do. Jane the receptionist was not there, so I took her desk and stared at the various quotes that Maina had placed on the wall. The walls needed a fresh painting, I noted. I read through Abraham’s Lincoln, the 16^th President of the United States, letter to teacher of his son and one line ignited my interest: Teach my son that for every enemy there is a friend: How untrue! I was deeply engrossed in the letter that I did not realize Stella’s entrance

“There you are!” Stella announced, as she stepped in.

“Stella, how did you find this place?”

“Please, Rain this pathetic place is what you call a work place? You are really proud of this place?” she said as her eyes roved through the subdivided office. “And you can afford to take someone out?”

“Stella, you have no right to say that! The owner might hear that,”

“Whatever! I am just wondering do you really love me?”

“You know I do, and you took things to the extreme!”

“I don’t think so Rain, I came all the way and found you cheating on me!” She paused for a while. “You are such an ungrateful bastard!” She shouted then trotted out.

“Stella wait!” She did not wait. She walked briskly away. By the time I walked to the corridor, she had already disappeared. I went back to the reception.

After a few minutes, my phone rang. The screen blinked with Sila’s name. Why would he call? I picked it up. “Hallo?”

“Rain, how are you?”

“I am fine,”

“Well guess what?”

“Talk to me!”

“The results are out!” he screamed enthusiastically. “Guess what I got?”

“You passed, of course!”

“How do you know that?”

“It’s not rocket science!”

“Do you know what you got?”

“Don’t tell me!”

Campus Life Good Boy Gone Bad #20:When the Rain began falling!

2009-11-05T15:04:00.000-08:00

When boarding a matatu back to Nairobi to check out my results, I could not help but ponder over my academic life. In primary school, I was always unbeaten. I was constantly number one from class one to class eight, come rain come sunshine. Even in high school, I was never outside the top five bracket well except in one instance, where I was number 25 out of 35!

I was in form two and our school played hosts to the drama festivals right from the district to the national level. The emerging curves and promising chests of the girls were a better attraction than the biology of respiration and the chemistry of molar equations. The drama queens of Eldoret comprising of Moi girls and Hill school could not obviously be compared to Abuogi’s English classes of phrasal verbs! Being a member of the red-cross, I had the privilege of lurking around the backstage and watch the girls as they change, a very rare opportunity!

Later on with my poor performance in school, my mum gave me one good lecture such that, I improved tremendously in my studies. When Gichana admitted me to the Christian union, to ferry the Keyboard and the Speakers around my performance stabilized such that I had to alternate with Moha in playing second fiddle to The Man-Mutiso!

I had to make one phone call.

“Hallo?” Chema’s voice came through the phone

“I am good, how about you?”

“Well, I am going to Nairobi, I will not be attending today’s class,”

“You should have told Maina that!” Chema said sarcastically. “Anyway have a safe journey.”

“I will miss you,…” the phone went dead.

The woman seated next to me was already dozing off so I surveyed the whole Matatu for anyone striking. I noticed a light skinned, slender girl seated right in front of me. When someone alighted in Naivasha, I quickly moved next to her. She was deeply engrossed in reading John’s Grisham, the Rainmaker.

“Hi, I am Rain, just like the main character of that book!” I started.

“Mhhh, Rain do you love novels?” she said pinning her glasses closer to her eyes.

“Yeah I love them, I am an avid reader,” I replied enthusiastically.

“Impressive, what kind of books have you read recently?”

I quickly thought of my recent books: “I have read A man of the people, The river between, Aminata -er- and many more!”

“Those are high school set books! Actually the main character of this book,” she said as she repeatedly tapped the novel, “is Rudy Baylor, ain’t no one like Rain!”

I pleaded my case but she remained tight lipped. I kept gazing at the roadside vegetation and trying to nap but knowing how I carried myself during the examination period, sleep was not forthcoming. I reached for my phone.

“Hallo,” Stella’s voice was unusually heavy.

“I heard the results are out!”

“Yap, and I booked a supplementary!” her voice lacked life. “What about you?”

“I am yet to see mine!”

I alighted next to Central Police Station and walked the short distance to Harry Thuku Road. Even before I could enter American Wing, I met Sila who elatedly greeted me.

“Rain congratulations!” Sila said.

“What? Let me see it for myself.” I pushed Sila aside then went to the notice board. Number nine on the list was my name and alongside it, alas: PASS! I could not any feel better. It felt like I had just lowered a very heavy burden. I took a moment to admire my name in the list again and again. It is then that I remembered there was also someone’s results I was supposed to check. At number 37 Chris’ name was missing. I scrolled downwards and there his name was; three supplementaries!

Campus Life Good Boy; Gone Bad #21: Smooth Operation!

2009-11-05T15:03:00.000-08:00

When my phone beeped I reached for it and read Chris’ text message, “Hey man, we’ve been friends for a long time and fighting over a girl is not good. You can have the two girls as you wish. Let me spend some time revising for my supplementaries. P.S. Tell Maina I won’t be returning to his college.” I knew Chris was not sincere so I just returned the phone to my pocket and headed to the matatu stage.

Just as I alighted in Nakuru and walked a few metres I noticed Chema just about to take a corner. I had not realized before that it was so easy to notice her from behind! I paced up to her and when I tapped on her shoulder, she turned back.

“Hi, you are back,” she said as she extended her arm.

“Yes I am, tell me you missed me,” I said.

“Well I missed your lessons. When you were away Maina tried taking us through the computer lessons and I must say that you are better than him.”

“Oh really? You know I just try to make as much impact as possible.”

I wanted to brag about my results but then she did not ask about it. So I just let it pass. In a few minutes we found ourselves taking soda at a bistro beside the road. We continued talking about general stuff until, she had to squeeze in a question about her.

“Rain what do you think about me?”

“Chema I really like you. God blessed you with a perfect figure and I admire that,” I said then rubbed my hands on hers gently. She just looked away. “Even beyond that I love your down-to-earth personality.”

“Why do I find that hard to believe?”

“Well, because you don’t have the benefit of time. I know things have been confusing lately but I apologize for that. ” I continued trying exonerating myself while at the same time complimenting her. I really did know what she wanted to hear so I simply played hit and miss. When it came time to head to the college, she had livened up.

By the time we were at Next Generation International College, all the students had left and Jane, the secretary, was the only one around.

“Rain and Chema, how are you?” Jane started.

“We are good, you look like you were about to leave?” I said.

“Yes I was about to leave. Do you still have a class?”

Instinctively I glanced at my wristwatch. “Well, I can take her through typing skills then we can call it a day,” I said.

“Make sure then, that you come in early the tomorrow,” Jane said these then handed me the keys.

Chema had already started the windows based workstation. I led her in holding the Keyboard with her left hand on the ASDF keys while the right hand on the JKL; keys.

“With this you can be able to navigate the whole keyboard. You can be able to type without looking at the keyboard,” I said this, then directed her fingers on holding the keys firmly. I placed my hands on top of hers then gently led her fingers in pressing the keys. Standing right behind her, my eyes glazed through her cleavage admiring the lonely twins.

“I think my fingers are short. I can’t navigate the whole keyboard from a stationary position,” she said and subsequently she turned and smiled. I did not return the favour as my hands reached for the keyboard and wiped it away. I deftly lifted her and placed her on the table. I held her hair then reached for her cheeks. I rubbed her back severally and as I lowered my mouth I found her chocolate lips already parted. And they sure tasted better than candy! I pressed her more and she in turn pressed the desktop computer. The rough surface of the table made the escapade more enjoyable. There sure was a thin line between pain and pleasure and that is the secret bosses and secretaries kept between them. I was about to probe deeper but then I realized the window was open.

Campus Life Good Boy; Gone Bad #22: Proof!

2009-11-05T15:01:00.000-08:00

“Seems everyone has gone home,” I said as I closed the window.

“I am getting late, I have to go,” Chema said then straightened up her clothes. I inched closer to her then run my hands on her face. She smiled coyly then reached for my hands. She held my fingers, pressing each in turn as though she was counting them.

“Rain, where I stay one cannot afford to stay out for too long,” she said.

“It’s only 7! And I will accompany you,” I said.

She packed her books and placed them on her bag. I busied myself with rearranging the room and shutting down the computers. I quickly thought of taking her home but I knew my Uncle would create a fuss and ultimately inform my dad about his bad boy. She on the other hand, lived with her sister so going to her home was not an option.

Walking in the dimly lit streets of Nakuru holding her close to me felt like I was walking in the Garden of Eden. Every scent felt good, every music blaring from all the shops endeared to my ears. Seventh Heaven it was. Even as we conversed I wished the whole scenario would be converted to a romantic movie scene where I would be at the beach with the lovely Chema.

“Ouch!” Chema cried out. Things had happened swiftly and the only thing I saw was a street kid running so fast with Chema’s purse. “Uuuuuui! Mwizi!” She screamed. I had no time to think so I dashed off immediately after the thug.

My speed proved to be impressive. As I improved the pace I realized the street kid was much more built than I was and if there was to be a confrontation, chances of a win were slim. However, that did not deter me as I ran faster shouting to all the passers-by “Mwizi! Mwizi! Shika huyo!”

I had the advantage of running from behind him and as he was a metre ahead I stretched my leg and kicked his foot with all my energy. The thug fell with a thud, scattering the contents of the purse just in front of him. I kicked his head several times shouting and cursing with fervour. As more people joined in administering punishment, I collected Chema’s belongings and left. Honestly I did not care if he would survive the beating.

I found Chema still rooted to her position. “I managed to get him, have your bag,” I said then handed the bag to her.

“I am still in shock! Thank you,” she whispered. I held her close only to realize her involuntary shaking. We walked the few metres to where she stayed in silence. At the gate I bid her goodnight then headed home.

Back home, I could not help but muse over the whole scenario. Unless you have been hitting the gym everyday every man would hate being caught up in such a scenario. With a thug and a girl he loves especially if the thug (as most of them are) well built it usually dents a man’s ego. Luck was on my side I must say.

I reached for my pillow when my phone beeped and two text messages streamed in. First was from Chema: “Thanks so much! Thank you! Good night”. The second was from Stella: “Hi, I hope your day was good. Mine was good too. How is Nakuru? I wish you would be here to help me through this maths. Otherwise have a good night.” I checked my balance and there was only an amount to reply to one SMS.

Campus Life Good Boy; Gone Bad #23: Always Strapped!

2009-11-05T14:58:00.000-08:00

“You know, I am still in shock of what happened yesterday,” Chema started when we were on a tea break.

“The good thing is that you are safe,” I said sipping my tea.

“Thanks Rain. Thank you too for the SMS, I slept well, and you know what! I dreamt about you!”

“You dreamt about me?”

“Actually the two of us!”

“What was it about?”

“Nothing much, we were at my birthday party and then you stopped the music and called everyone to attention. You said something! Something so sweet! Which unfortunately, I can’t remember!”

“Something sweet? Come on what was it?” I said shaking her lightly.

“I honestly cannot remember!” she replied shaking her head. “Rain do you believe in dreams?”

“Only sweet ones!”

When I saw my boss, Maina, enter the reception area, I briskly walked away from Chema. Chema too walked back to the classroom. Maina handed a few papers to the Secretary then signalled in my direction. I walked to the reception area whereby he asked me to follow him to the next room.

“Lain, how is your morning?” Maina started then clasped his hands.

“I am good sir,” I replied after bolting the door. Sensing his foul mood I continued: “The students are pretty much happy of the progress we are making, and sure enough a good word about this college is being spread around the town.”

“Is that so? Anyway talking about students, I don’t like the way you are getting cosy with that Chema girl.”

“No sir, it’s just that she is having a little problem with the computers and I have to put in some extra hours for her.”

“Come one Lain! I know this things, a pretty girl like that always arouses attention.” He looked at me then smiled wryly. “However, know that I shall not allow you to bring my college to disrepute in any way! ”

“Sir, I shall be professional!” I said. He motioned me to leave.

I did not have a class in the mid-morning so I took a short walk downtown. My phone rung and on checking it was Stella.

“Hallo? How are you?”

“I am good! You did not return my SMS last night!”

“Sorry dear, my phone had run out of units,” I replied.

“Is that so? Okay.” She paused for a while then continued. “Have you read the papers?”

“Nope, what’s in it?”

“Well, we shall be resuming college in two weeks time!”

“I can’t get excited about the books but I am excited I will be seeing you daily!”

“Me too! Well I have to go, have a nice day. By the way, I met Chris, and I asked him to come and show me a little math, hope you don’t mind.”

“It’s okay, have a nice day.” I said reluctantly.

In spite of the scorching sun, the town was full of men and women eking out with in all manner of ways. The Matatu touts kept shouting to all while the jua kali artisans with metal pieces strewn all over and the loud noise still chatted with one another. The beggars stretched out their hands longer if you were in a suit while the hawkers leaped in joy if they saw an oncoming bus from Nairobi. Even looking at them, my mind veered off to make resolutions for my second year in campus. This time round I had to walk hard by attending all lecturers from day one, doing all assignments and coursework. It was also time to find a good friend, and forget about Chris forever. It was time to make things right with Stella. With the distance, it was time too to forget about Chema. I would not want that but, I had to take control of my life if I ever wanted to graduate.

When I walked back to Next Generation International College, I met an elated Chema at the reception.

“Rain guess what!” she said then giggled.

“I am in no mood for that. Excuse me,” I said.

“You will be if I showed you this!” Chema exclaimed then reached for an envelope and flashed it on my face.

“What is that?”

“This is my admission to university! I will be joining you in Nairobi!”

“What! Congratulations for….” Before I could complete the sentence she was already jumping up and down and slapping my arm several times. I did not know what to expect but one thing for sure, I had to revise my resolutions!

The end, of season 1